I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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