just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
