Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
