We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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