Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
