I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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