He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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