he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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