exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You're like the curious george of whores
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
