ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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