He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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