I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
