sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The ass gains better be worth it
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