dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
