I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
a search helicopter?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
