Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
