So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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