sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize