I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
