im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
