ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
