I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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