remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
