Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
