How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
