my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
