i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
