Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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