Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
