Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My dick has a subreddit
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
