One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
