She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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