The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
