I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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