I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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