Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need a hoe opinion
go on
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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