This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
please come you make the beer taste better
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
