She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
