kristin has been a bad kristin
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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