woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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