I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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