I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
