He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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