i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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