Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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