I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We left the knife in your bed.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
