This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize