i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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