I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
