i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
