ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
