my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
