nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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