I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
