i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
