i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
