Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
