Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
