And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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