Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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