my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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